The Girl Who Was Terrified of Flying, Lost Her Mind and Jumped Out of One

Monday 12:06 PM. Auckland, New Zealand.

I swear this is my last day in Auckland.

I went on my free trip to Paihia and I had a lot of time on the bus to let my mind wonder and make impulsive decisions. I don't know if the oxygen is different here, or if hearing everyone talk about it, or if I had some repressed death wish that made me sky dive.... but I did it. And lucky for you, I dropped a shit ton of my hard earned cash money to document my stupid, scared face for you to laugh and point at. But also be really impressed. Because, seriously, 16,000 feet.... 

This is my "clearly this doof isn't sane enough to be making serious, life threatening choices," and "please don't make me get on that paper airplane," face.

Then there was the actual plane ride that took FOREVER. And once you think you've gone high enough, and gravity pulls your pee back to earth, you just keep going, up and up. I waved hi to the birds and the bearded lady in heaven, up past the clouds. 

This is my "Kylie, stop crying and smile for the camera," face.

There were three jumpers on the plane singing 'I wish you'd step back from that ledge my friend,' in perfect harmony. Not really, but during the hysterics in my brain, that's what I was hearing. I was the first to jump.

Sitting at the edge, this is my "I've made a serious error," face

And then, of course the "But wait! I think I left thE STOVE OOOOOooooonnnn...." face.

And the no turning back, can't breathe from the terror face.

Don't be fooled by the smiles. That was the wind blowing polluted atmosphere into my lungs with so much pressure that I couldn't exhale. What I'm actually thinking is "Fuckfuckfuckfuck! My ears are popping like a son of biiiiitch!"

People who are able to break away from the terror and pose for the camera guy are sociopaths. Still screaming:

Apparently, jumping in The Bay of Islands is the longest free fall you can have. It's 70 seconds, and people say that it's too short. LIES. It was much too long. Long enough for you to convince yourself that you're not going to survive this. But that is when they pull the chute and you finally slow down and comprehend where you actually are. And it's amazing.

This is my "I may be deaf, but I'm flying," face.

Once you start to appreciate what you've done, it's over too fast. I could fly in that parachute for forever. I don't know if it would be different if I did it a second time, but the free fall is truly horrifying. I'll pay less and go for a shorter distance.

There you have it. Thank you to Andrew who jumped with me and landed us safely. This is going to be hard to top.

And you are all welcome for those less attractive photos.