Trip Numba Two
Wednesday 10:32PM. Auckland, New Zealand
I’ve left. I’m gone. Can’t bring me back. ‘Til I run out of money.
I have the privilege to tell you that I am watching “Sister Wives” in a Wifi-less hostel in Auckland. I had to pay for the ability to post this. I like to call situations like mine “horse shit.” I want brother husbands!! And I want the world to accept it like this dumb ass thinks the world will do when he televises it.
On more serious matters.... I don’t actually have serious matters. I’m unemployed in a far away country. This is why I do this.
I do have the dilemma of limited wifi. When hostels don’t have free wifi, it really chaps my ass. It makes me even madder when they don’t have a bar. I’ve clearly forgotten how hard it is to do this. I’ve been gone for a month, but I was with friends who I made do all the work.
So in between leaving New York and arriving to New Zealand, I’ve been to many of places, seeing a number of friends. Which has made it difficult to write. No alone time to shit talk people.
I tried to take note of the more memorable stories, but they seem insignificant now. Like, if I were to type them all out now, you’s get bored and not read for the rest of my trip. So I’ll give you the bullet point version:
- I lost my phone in a cab, got it back, almost $300 later.
- Got branded by my friend, Grainne, when she burned me with her cigar while posing for a selfie. Scar is now in shape of a “G.”
- Went skinny dipping for the first time.
- Saw a grandma, to my right, reading to her grandson on a stoop; while to my left, a homeless couple screamed “fuck you!” to each other across a park. Like Sesame Street.
- And watched an airline video show me how to buckle my seat belt in economy, and separately show first class how to buckle their more advanced and safer seat belt... Since they pay more, they get more comfort, free booze, and their lives.
It’s good to be back.
P.S. This place doesn't have Wifi, but I'm watching someone mop the floors for the third time today. PRIORITIES.